Over the past few days, I’ve been gratified to see and hear some in the news media start talking specifically about how all of these killers are men–most of them young, overwhelmingly white and also overwhelmingly socially isolated. Inspired by this comment from Susan, I wondered this morning how many mothers and fathers of hypothetical 20-year old daughters who 1) had problems with school, 2) live at home, 3) don’t go to college and don’t have a job, and 4) are as completely isolated as this murderer appears to have been would not have sought some kind of counseling or mental health evaluation for their child?
I do not mean to engage in victim-blaming here (of the murderer’s mother). My question is an honest one, and it jibes with a concern I’ve had for a long time about the different standards to which boys and girls are held by their parents. Recently, it has struck me that daughters are held to much higher standards than sons are–higher behavioral and academic standards–and that this in the end has benefited girls. This is one reason why I think we see women in the majority among college students and M.A. students in the U.S. Continue Reading »