Yegads. What is it with these door-to-door hucksters who think that 1) “No Solicitors” doesn’t apply to them, and 2) who argue with me about it instead of beating a hasty retreat? (Aside from being just plain irritating, do they really think they’re going to make the sale?)
I looked up the definition of “solicitor” last year, after being argued with by a religious nut who claimed that he wasn’t a solicitor because he wasn’t try to sell me anything. Here’s the first non-obsolete Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of solicitor: “One who entreats, equests, or petitions; one who solicits or begs favours; a pleader, intercessor, advocate.” Notice that this says nothing about sales–it suggests that anyone asking for my time in the service of any cause whatsoever (political, religious, or personal profit) without a personal invitation from me is in fact A SOLICITOR.
Aside from wasting my time, soliciting give me the creeps. It’s nothing personal–I just never have had it in me to go door-to-door, so it probably follows that I don’t have a lot of patience for this kind of gladhanding myself. I couldn’t even bring myself to sell band fruit in high school–it’s probably the main reason I quit the marching band, in fact. (That, and the hats like giant Q-tips, and the gabardine uniforms that we had to wear in August and May. And the fact that I chose to play the clarinet, which is a pretty pointless instrument to begin with, but especially so in the marching band!)
I should have remembered that the warm weather brings solicitors out in my sweet, quiet small town. I guess I’ll print out a copy of the above definition of solicitor and hope for an even quieter summer this year. Oh yeah–that an a copy of the above sampler.