Comments on: Tiger mother beatdown: child-free auntie queersplains it all http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/ History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present Tue, 23 Sep 2014 01:47:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 By: Julie Kinnear http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-781589 Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:36:00 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-781589 Amy’s marketing tactic is incredible and in a very short time she can call herself not only a strict mother but also a rich mother. The only problem is that the approach she promotes in her book can damage the reputation of the Chinese parents who don’t bring their children up in this way.

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By: Emma http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779559 Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:17:32 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779559 Oh, and the whine about “the children!!! think of the children!!” is always good for getting convicted pedophiles locked up indefinitely, even though they’ve finished their sentences, but is never good for things like raising the age of enlistment in the military to 21 or 25 or fully funding public schools or school lunches or school breakfasts or AFDC. I suggest caution in using the “it’s all about the children” meme. Because, like so many other things, it obviously isn’t.

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By: Emma http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779556 Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:15:00 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779556 “her article in the Wall Street Journal, which was clearly calculated to raise people’s blood pressure and get hits to the website”

This is the truest thing that’s been said about this whole “controversy”. Get the moms at each others’ throats, throw in some non-moms for good measure, it’s always good for an entertaining cage fight. The only way to win is to not play.

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By: Feminist Avatar http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779505 Sun, 23 Jan 2011 11:47:54 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779505 The link to mothers who lie about their parenting style is here- http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-12192050

On the history of parenting manuals- there have been advice books on parenting from at least the 17thC. John Locke’s ‘some thoughts concerning education’ is perhaps one that springs immediately to mind- but I can think of some earlier ones than that too. And, they are massively popular in the 18thC- incidentally the period where the ‘cult of domesticity’ really comes into its own in Britain and France. And, the work on parents of the 18thC and onwards shows that they also engaged in serious conversations about ‘best parenting’ and criticising people who didn’t conform. So, this is not a new problem…

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By: Zee http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779353 Sun, 23 Jan 2011 04:54:08 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779353 longtime historiann fan here, weighing in. Squadroto nailed it.

There is no choice for women that is not cursed in some fashion. The childless fret, the mother of the only child frets, and even the mother who goes on to have more children frets. As the mother of an only adult child, I warn the young fretters…it matters not what you choose, there will be fretting and second-guessing.

Don’t even get me started on the stay at home question.

I have heard of this Tiger mothering controversy, without having read up on it extensively, and altho hers was not my style, guess what? I would bet that it’s the same trap. No matter what style the mother chooses….she loses. She is too monstrous or too coddling or too fill-in-the-blank.

My ex decided to be a distant “benevolent” uncle to our son, instead of a father…and altho he forfeited head of household to me, he still thinks he has some right or duty to weigh in on what I have done or not. I would say my son absorbed some of the disrespectful attitude from his father and society at large, and altho we’re close, and altho he and his friends obviously regard me as a rock, I’m at a loss on how to counter the society at large they embody as a norm.

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By: thefrogprincess http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779148 Sat, 22 Jan 2011 22:13:37 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779148 Well I’ve got strong feelings on stay-at-home mothers that are actually stronger than my “tiger mother” feelings, despite being raised by a woman who was both. (For what it’s worth, my opinion on tiger mothering is somewhat like Clarissa’s in that it’s guaranteed a lifetime of therapy. And though I won’t presume to know what Chua’s daughters think or feel, I also am not convinced by either their or other assertions that they’re lovely children. “Tiger mothers” train their children to be lovely in public.)

But here’s my take on “staying at home being a job.” I think it is a job. I think it’s a 24-7 job. But because it’s a job for which women do not get paid, I’m pretty against women staying at home. If it weren’t a job that warranted compensation, nannies, au pairs, and the like wouldn’t be paid either.

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By: wini http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779133 Sat, 22 Jan 2011 21:21:54 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779133 Some of my best friends are unreconstructed Marxists.

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By: Historiann http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779121 Sat, 22 Jan 2011 21:08:31 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779121 koshem Bos: did you mean “I wouldn’t behave this way with a CAT?” (Thank goodness, because who wants to listen to a cat practice the piano 4 hours a day?)

widgeon wrote, “I’m sounding like an unreconstructed Marxist. . . “ Join the club! Let’s make Marxism safe again, at least for historians. Scientists can say they’re Darwinian although of course other work has refined the theory of evolution to improve on Darwin’s work.

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By: koshem Bos http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779108 Sat, 22 Jan 2011 20:33:23 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779108 There also is parenting; it doesn’t have to be mothering or fathering. While each parent, true for gay parents as well, has special contribution. My way was to give my kids as much freedom as I could and intervene only when I couldn’t avoid it. In my book what I read about Chua is abuse. I wouldn’t behave this way with a pat.

Who the hell decided that kids have to play the piano? You are are suppose to be a role model and not a model to ape.

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By: widgeon http://www.historiann.com/2011/01/22/tiger-mother-beatdown-child-free-auntie-queersplains-it-all/comment-page-1/#comment-779104 Sat, 22 Jan 2011 20:25:51 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=13942#comment-779104 I completely agree that the “stay-at-home Mom having a full-time job” discourse is commonly used by anti-feminists to justify traditional gender roles. What poor women talked about was how surviving in poverty was a job–dealing with the public housing authorities, health clinics, school system, welfare offices etc. to keep them and their kids safe and basic needs met. This was an argument against the “welfare queen” stereotype. And there are fabulous historians who write about this: Annelise Orleck, Lisa Levenstein, Rhonda Williams, Premilla Nadasen, to name just a few. I’m sounding like an unreconstructed Marxist, but the Mommywars are so class-specific and there is so much important stuff silenced when this takes up all the space.

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