Comments on: Coming out/It Gets Better stories http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/ History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present Tue, 23 Sep 2014 14:15:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 By: Rosemary http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-727968 Sat, 16 Oct 2010 20:42:42 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-727968 Hi Ann– I’m very late to this party, but thanks so much for the shout-out…reading the other post you linked to this as well as watching some of the “It Gets Better” videos makes it seem as if not all of this suffering has been in vain.

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By: hysperia http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726443 Thu, 14 Oct 2010 04:55:57 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726443 I can’t possibly recommend any “It Gets Better” video more highly than this address give by Fort Worth TX City Councillor Joel Burns. I hope millions of people see it:
http://tv.gawker.com/5663083/this-is-the-most-touching-it-gets-better-video-you-will-ever-see

I could wish for a better header.

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By: fannie http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726175 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 17:44:43 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726175 Thank you for the link, Historiann. I hope these stories are reaching teens and make them feel less alone.

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By: GayProf http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726123 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:18:04 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726123 While it is true that many (most?) people probably endure some bulling while in school, there is still something unique about the bulling of GLBTQ youth. Heterosexual people often have the support of their family and friends as counter voices to the bulling. GLBTQ people, on the other hand, are reluctant to reach out to a support circle because the target of their bulling (their sexuality) is often rejected or feared by those close to them.

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By: Susan http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726100 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:09:36 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726100 Thanks for these links. As I’ve been watching the “It gets better” series, I’ve been thinking two things. First, it gets better for everyone. Teenagers can be pretty hard on each other. Certainly my feeling is that my life pretty much got better from about 14 or so onwards, mostly because I have made peace with myself. It’s not that bad things haven’t happened, but I can deal with them.

I suppose my first date was a double date with a good friend and two boys (also good friends) who have turned out to be gay. Back then — late 60s — I don’t think I was alert enough to sexuality to have figured that out then (I was clueless). I remember at the time Peggy & I tried to figure out whether this was a “date” or just the four of us going to the movies together (“Gone with the Wind”, for what it’s worth!)

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By: wini http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726099 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:07:21 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726099 If we’re going to talk about what High Schools can do, my High School was really, really good about bullying. Although it was not, in my memory, a place where people came out comfortably, they did take a lot of other effective steps. I did not know this at the time, but I now realize it when I hear about other schools. Much of the below is memories of my parents and reinforced by my sister. This has come up largely in the context of finding out how both the smart and different kids are treated in the town my parents now live in. My mom teaches piano to high school students.

The teachers, did not encourage bullying, and a subset would report it. We had a VP per grade, and (according to my parents) they were reached out to victims and the bullies. In their current town victims end up in private school, bullies drop out.

The one example I remember: A lower middle class friend from church had a lot of problems especially Freshman year (he had a significant learning disability) and was relentlessly teased/bullied. He initiated a violent fight that I remember after a bully did something physical to him. According to my sister, their detention involved a lot of work on resolution. They resented it, but it was somewhat effective. My friend still was a teased as an outsider for several years, but the physical abuse stopped. By senior year he was a respected artist (who got into RISD I think) and friendly with some of the bullies (many of whom were also socioeconomic outsiders and artists/musicians).

It might be that we’re all remembering this as a kind of utopia because things are sooooo bad where my parents now live. Two of her more eccentric piano students are now homeschooled, one transfered to Choate. (It’s also an upper-middle class town.)

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By: j http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-726098 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:07:00 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-726098 Emma, I think you bring up a very important issue. I say that coming from the perspective of a bisexual, femme woman married to a butch lesbian. There are certainly women who present (intentionally or not) as butch lesbians who identify as trans men, but I’m saddened at the thought that we might create an atmosphere that assumes if you are butch then you must be male. I’d like there to be space for queering gender, and not fitting into femme girl/butch boy boxes. I also just object to doing anything in a very young person that has a permanent effect on their choices down the line.

My favorite It Gets Better video so far was of a police officer and his partner, who had been a marine. The almost fatherly tone and authority with which he said the most tender of words to gay kids – that they are wonderful and perfect just the way they are – was really moving.

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By: Western Dave http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-725886 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 03:26:36 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-725886 So on the drive home today my kindergarten son says, “Dad, teach me how to be a girl.” Me: “Why” Him, “I don’t want to have to do armpit farts.” Me: “You don’t have to do armpit farts to be a boy.” Him: “Oh.” Daughter kicks in with “Charlie P. says you do.” Me. “You know, whatever Charlie P. says or does is gonna be pretty much the opposite of what you should do right?” Her: [thoughtfully] “You know, you’re right about that.” [Me in my head: NO SHIT, THAT CHARLIE P IS BAD NEWS] Me [out loud] mm hm.

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By: nicolec http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-725860 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 02:03:19 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-725860 I think it largely depends on the school…some are very aggressive in trying to target bullying, others are quite happy to pretend nothing is happening.

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By: Emma http://www.historiann.com/2010/10/12/coming-outit-gets-better-stories/comment-page-1/#comment-725847 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 00:55:51 +0000 http://www.historiann.com/?p=12794#comment-725847 “I agree that surgery and other medical interventions are a frightening possibility–but probably in large part due to the cost, I don’t think a lot of parents would permit (let alone encourage or force) a child or teen to get sex reassignment surgery.”

Children are being prescribed hormonal “therapies” prior to puberty to stop the onset of puberty and development of secondary sex characteristics (breasts, voice change, etc.) Children are being “identified” as trans as young as toddler age. SRS is already a medical treatment being paid for out of insurance.

Is medicalization of young childrens’ “gender identity” the norm yet? No, not by a long shot. But that’s the goal. And it’s getting there because it’s easier to put an effeminate boy in the trans box than accept that gender boxes are BS. Frankly, it’s the bullies’ ideology all over: if you’re “different” then you have to be in the different box. All the respect in the world given to the different boxes doesn’t change the boxes or the impetus to put people in them.

But, since I’m way off topic I’ll stop posting on this and just say that no matter who anybody is, they should be respected and not bullied. And, yes, I hope it does get better for those persons who identify as trans.

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