9th 2010
“Don’t give them the keys back?”

Posted under: American history, unhappy endings, wankers

What keys?  House keys?  Boat keys?  ALAN Keyes? 

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Tim Kaine
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

(H/t to Profane for sending this on to me, and keeping me current with what I’m missing without cable teebee.)  What Einstein came up with that one?  “Yeah, yeah, ‘don’t give them the keys back.’  That’s the ticket–just slap that on a ‘Baby on Board’-type yellow sign thingie, and make it into a key ring, and we’ve won ourselves another election!” 

Tim Kaine is a totally overrated one-term former Governor of Virginia.  (One term’s all they can serve there–so that part’s not his fault.)  That this d00d was asked to be the DNC Chair is all you need to know about the leadership and direction of the Democratic Party, and about its likely electoral fate in November.  (But thanks for the crappy loser swag, Timmy!)  In that interview above, he’s not just whistling past the graveyard–he’s trying to lead a full-on gospel choir, and failing miserably.  As I’ve noted here before, losing Jon Stewart is not where the Dems want to be.

The 2010 Dems couldn’t govern or campaign their way to a victory over the Whig party, ca. 1856.  They can’t even use fear effectively–and that’s the lowest form of campaigning.  Even my little gray kitty (named Mouse for a reason!), neutered when he was 5 months old, has more stones than your average Democrat.  And he’s got a much clearer agenda than President Obama or the Dems seem to have these days.  (FEED ME nap nap nap FEED ME nap nap nap.  It’s a clear agenda–not a particularly interesting one.)

I’ll now resume my silence on the upcoming elections.  I feel like such a sucker that I actually cared in 2003-2008, and donated a pile of dough, and worked for congressional and presidential candidates because I thought electing them would make a difference.  I used to believe what I teach in my introductory American history course:  that democracy is good, that We the People can–you know, all of the standard Marxist feminist anti-American bull$hit.  Now, well–I’m just glad I don’t have to teach that course for another 16 months.


13 Responses to ““Don’t give them the keys back?””

  1. Jonathan Rees on 09 Sep 2010 at 1:14 pm #


    After reading this:

    I am seriously considering voting for Ken Buck out of pure, unadulterated spite.

    Just thought you’d like to know.

  2. Historiann on 09 Sep 2010 at 1:18 pm #

    A-HAhahahaha! I saw that today, and wondered if many Bennet supporters would notice, or care.

    You don’t have to vote out of spite, though. Like Harry Truman once said, “You give the American people the choice between a fake Republican and a real one, and they’ll pick the real one, every time.” We pretty much know what we’ll get with Buck: a few Maverick-y votes to show he’s not completely a brain-dead party hack, but he’ll be a reliable R vote the rest of the time.

    (At least I think it was Truman, but you’d know better than I would about that.)

  3. Dickens Reader on 09 Sep 2010 at 1:20 pm #

    “I feel like such a sucker that I actually cared in 2003-2008, and donated a pile of dough, and worked for congressional and presidential candidates because I thought electing them would make a difference.”

    Oh, tell me about it. At this point I just want my money back. Literally. Just send me a check and take my name off that thingy that lets everyone know who donated what for who living on what street. I am totally at the point that both are the same. The lesser of the two evils is no longer enough. Actually, I want to promote the radicalism of not voting and not donating.

  4. Kathie on 09 Sep 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    A couple of days ago my husband and I saw Howard Dean on TV and then wondered – who is the DNC chair now? We didn’t bother to look it up, but neither of us could remember who had that position. So thanks, now we know, it’s Tim Kaine. And while we aren’t quite Party hacks, we are still donating money to Dem candidates this year, though a lot less than what we wasted on Kerry, who continues to disgust us.

  5. Historiann on 09 Sep 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    Heh. I was a Deaniac in 2003-04, Kathie. He’s the guy who opened my wallet. He’s been kicked around a lot lately (and unfairly) for his 50-state strategy. Yes, it elected a lot of Blue Dogs. But you know what you do with a Blue Dog? You beat it if it votes the wrong way. You elect them, and you remind them every day who their master is. You make it more painful to disobey you than to obey. (It’s a lot like training a dog, actually.) That’s the part that Obama and Harry Reid don’t seem to get. I think Nancy Pelosi understands this, but maybe she doesn’t have a sufficient number of “enforcers” to extract pain for bad behavior. (She’s been better at this than Reid has, no question.)

    I hear you, Dickens Reader, about the wasted donations. I’d let them keep the money–if only they would take me off their phone and e-mail lists!

  6. Comrade PhysioProf on 09 Sep 2010 at 6:16 pm #

    I thought that whole “don’t give ‘em the keys back; they can’t drive” bit was pretty fucken funny.

  7. Comrade PhysioProf on 09 Sep 2010 at 7:35 pm #

    Oh, shit. I thought you were talking about when Obama was riffing on that during his labor day speech. That is really the DNC’s campaign slogan? Oh, shit.

  8. Susan on 09 Sep 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    I got disillusioned in 1996 with “welfare reform”. I expect the dems to be marginally better than the republicans, but I have no illusion that they will do what I’d really want them to do. So oddly, I’m not that upset.
    Does that make sense?

  9. Historiann on 09 Sep 2010 at 8:55 pm #

    I think it makes perfect sense, Susan. It’s a Zen thing: if you expect nothing, you’ll never be disappointed!

    I’m trying to get to that place myself.

  10. Emma on 10 Sep 2010 at 8:37 am #

    “Don’t give the keys back — we’re enjoying running up the miles on the Mercedes we leased for ourselves and our banker friends with your taxes!”

  11. Historiann on 10 Sep 2010 at 9:05 am #

    Good one, Emma!

    I will just add: “welfare reform” wasn’t Bill Clinton’s idea on his lonesome. It was pushed by the Republican controlled congress of 1995-96.

  12. koshem Bos on 10 Sep 2010 at 1:53 pm #

    Let’s start from the end: welfare reform 1996 was badly need and once too many Democrats choose not to play, Clinton was left with the Republicans and did his best to get a decent new welfare: he partially succeeded.

    We don’t have a Democratic party and it isn’t a person a several of them. We have a dud as president, but Kerry wasn’t any better. What used to be the Democratic party is now a center-right party.

    Even worse, we don’t have a progressive body either anymore. Those who call themselves liberal or progressive ignore the poor and address only the middle class. Working conditions, actual union work, wages and benefits are foreign to American liberal.

    Funeral schedule for early November.

  13. Is Gingrich done? on 29 Jan 2012 at 7:45 am #

    [...] have the car keys. Should I say "You're in trouble" it was John Stewart's response? “Don’t give them the keys back?” : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 … I don't know if the strat you just used to get your ass kicked in 2010 is gonna work 505…..and [...]

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