Comments on: Friday Roundup: Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! edition

By: Physicians “opting out:” gender and medical education as a privilege, not an entitlement : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Sun, 12 Jun 2011 17:34:06 +0000

[...] ambition in men is aggression in women. Expecting your due is fine in a man, but it’s selfish in a woman.) In short, I wish that Sibert had encouraged just as much reflection on this among [...]

By: Freedom is mine! Or, “Melodramas of Beset Manhood,” redux. : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:49:01 +0000

[...] bulk of American literature deals with main characters individuating and separating. Since it’s ’selfish’ for women to individuate and separate, the bulk of American literature doesn’t involve women. If women writers are writing stories [...]

By: Anti-volunteerism, and other career saving strategies : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:46:24 +0000

[...] just a reminder, friends: Don’t be afraid of being called “selfish.” If you are in fact “a girl,” it will happen anyway, so do what you need to do to [...]

By: Cutting edge grandma « the pen, the brush and the needle

Cutting edge grandma « the pen, the brush and the needle — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 16:46:47 +0000

[...] August 2, 2010 A couple of days ago Historiann, one of our blogging heroines, posted a long yet totally justified rant about the fact that women, no matter what they do, will always be faced with the accusation of being selfish: [...]

By: LadyProf

LadyProf — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:04:40 +0000

Because any statement along the lines of “I have a preference and intend to live my life accordingly” is asserting one’s autonomy, Sq. Not to harp on Kant, but the woman is declaring that she is an end in herself rather than the means to someone else’s ends. Every woman knows, or should know, that her taking that position might distress a man. For that reason, she is selfish.

By: squadratomagico

squadratomagico — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:43:29 +0000

Sorry I missed all this yesterday — I was cooking all day for a dinner party for 20. (And I ate as well as anyone there!)

But, yes: the “selfishness” of women who choose to forego children is one of those big Incomprehensibles for me. I just.don’t.get.it.

How is saying, “I don’t want…” selfish?

By: Feminist Avatar

Feminist Avatar — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:08:54 +0000

In the early-nineteenth century, British bachelors did get a bit of stick in the press for being selfish and leaving all those womenz on the shelf (requiring them to get educated and emancipated n what not).

On reading the list of examples of times when you are self-less, I recognised that aspect of me as an academic, but I seem to be much happier being selfish in a domestic setting (what, give away the good bit of pie?!). Having said this, I struggle not to eat the heel of the bread (even though hubby will just bin it) but I think this is about a sense of anxiety over waste- that this anxiety is gendered is perhaps worthy of critique itself.

By: The Rebel Lettriste

The Rebel Lettriste — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:30:10 +0000

All I have to say is that the craphole, deadbeat father of my twins accused me of being selfish because I was committed to breastfeeding them.

Apparently, breastfeeding two babies simultaneously at 4 a.m. as one’s nipples are bleeding is totally about THE SELF.

By: thefrogprincess

thefrogprincess — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 14:48:03 +0000

I’m late to this but a couple of thoughts. The latest marriage panic at the moment is the admittedly pretty high number of educated black women who aren’t married. I say admittedly high number b/c in comparison to their white counterparts, educated black women are married at much lower numbers. But a few problems with the several articles about this subject: they’re constantly framed in terms of these women doing nothing but fretting about their single status, without congratulating them for beating the demographic odds and getting several degrees and careers they enjoy and that can sustain them regardless of marital status. These articles also frequently end with the suggestion that black women are being too picky. There are tons of good men right in front of your face, people like Steve Harvey say, you just have to settle. Even worse, this conversation usually trickles down to the advice that black women need to start dating white men, without the related conversation about the fact that white men in this country, by and large, aren’t interested in dating black women and have no problem saying so directly. But I guess those cultural biases against an entire group of women mean nothing since these women have spent too much time pursuing a career, rather than pursuing dead ends.

Historiann writes, pro-gay marriage left-wingers want lesbians to explain themselves if they don’t have kids. Really? I hope this isn’t the case. If it is, I’m going to have to rethink my affiliations. (That being said, this is an issue that straight people who are pro-gay marriage need to think about. Are we supporting gay marriage b/c we believe that the state doesn’t have the right to discriminate or, once this happens, are we going to be hitting LGBT people over the head with the same “must get married” expectations that we have for heterosexuals?)

And as for the slice of pie??? I’m single, I live by myself, I’ve never had a serious relationship so maybe this will change dramatically when/if I’m in a relationship but if I take the first measly bit of pie, it’s only as a precursor to the proper slice. I did not grow up in a house where anybody, women included, satisfied themselves with the crap pieces.

By: cgeye

cgeye — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:23:40 +0000

Try being a spinster, with not even a pet to ‘care for’. People don’t know what to make of one’s life. Really — there’s no positive category for it, if you don’t have the doss to travel the world.