23rd 2010
Pass the popcorn, and mix up a pitcher of Pisco Sours!

Posted under: American history, happy endings, local news, wankers, weirdness

Triple suicide at fifteen paces!

Here’s your free laugh of the day, friends.  I bring you the return of Colorado’s crazziest Republican politician yet, Tom Tancredo!

Former GOP Congressman Tom Tancredo issued an ultimatum Thursday to both Republican gubernatorial candidates: Drop out of the race or I will jump in as a third-party candidate.

Tancredo’s entry as an American Constitution Party candidate likely would create a GOP implosion, splitting the vote in the general election and handing a win to Democrats.

Campaigns for Dan Maes and Scott McInnis said the Republican candidates intended to remain in the race. 

.       .       .       .       .       .      .       .       .      

Tancredo, who said neither GOP candidate could win the general election and would be a “disaster” for those running down the party ticket, gave the two until noon Monday to commit to getting out of the race the day after the primary if polling shows then that the GOP winner is trailing [Democrat John] Hickenlooper. If not, he will announce Monday that he is seeking the nomination of the Constitution Party.

Yeah, that American Constitution Party, which is “‘pro-life, pro-states’ rights, pro-Second Amendment’ and is for limited government, according to its website. It opposes illegal immigration and open borders.”  (That pretty much sounds like today’s Zombie Republican party, but just a tiny bit more up front about the crazzy.)  Tancredo is like the dumba$$ who pulls the pin on a grenade and threatens to blow himself up if he doesn’t get what he wants.  Most non-Republican non-crazzies in this state would let him turn himself into a fine, pink mist–and I have a feeling that not a few Republicans would join us after this announcement.

Forget Democratic Party circular firing squads–we’ve got High Noon at the OK Corral out here, friends.  August should be a blast.


23 Responses to “Pass the popcorn, and mix up a pitcher of Pisco Sours!”

  1. Dr. Koshary on 23 Jul 2010 at 7:34 am #

    I enjoy laughing at Tom Tancredo. It’s nice to see that parts of the Borg are also capable of blowing themselves up. This is not my most charitable emotion, but sometimes one has to take pleasure in such things as one can.

  2. Historiann on 23 Jul 2010 at 7:35 am #

    Well, like I said: it’s your free laugh of the day! I will give this to Tancredo: he’s crazzy, but he appears to really enjoy being the crazzy guy, so there’s something infectious about the whole act.

  3. Janice on 23 Jul 2010 at 8:01 am #

    Sometimes politics is a full-out, knee-slapping comedy show. This? Is one of those moments.

  4. Tim Lacy on 23 Jul 2010 at 8:50 am #

    I want to laugh at Tancredo and his ilk, but I am starting to see the failure of the Republican Party as a sign of America’s failure to broadly educate its denizens about: citizenship, good government, the meaning of common sense, the need for intellectuals, and the need for a more vigorous common culture. – TL

  5. Indyanna on 23 Jul 2010 at 9:07 am #

    Wow, this one almost bridges “wankers” and “fluff” (known back East as the Brooklyn Strike or Brooklyn Pocket)! I wonder if you could get me on Hick’s invite list for the celebratory kegger when this thing runs its likely course!

  6. koshem Bos on 23 Jul 2010 at 9:08 am #

    Tancredo isn’t crazy; he is a fascist. How far is he from the Tea Baggers?

  7. Notorious Ph.D. on 23 Jul 2010 at 9:23 am #

    Oh, h’ann — It’s like you knew how much I needed some good entertainment this morning. Thank you.

    You’ll keep us posted, I hope? I’ll bring the popcorn – I’ve discovered a way to season it with a blend of sweet curry and some other stuff, so I know we’ll have a good time.

  8. Historiann on 23 Jul 2010 at 10:29 am #

    Yum! I have a feeling that this will be the race that will keep on giving well after the Aug. 10 primary.

    I’ve become terribly cynical about politics, so I’m trying to get out of it what I can, and if all of that is a few belly laughs and a heap o’schadenfreude, then so be it.

  9. Susan on 23 Jul 2010 at 10:53 am #

    Now, who was it who thought the California gubernatorial race was the only interesting one this fall? I’d give anything for something this much fun.

  10. Comrade PhysioProf on 23 Jul 2010 at 11:34 am #

    I fucking love it when deranged sick-fuck far-right-wing shitbags fuck each other’s shit up.

  11. Matt L on 23 Jul 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    talk about a gift that keeps on giving… Tancredo is just timeless… Maybe the GOP is finally developing a talent for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory on par with the Democratic Party…

  12. Historiann on 23 Jul 2010 at 4:49 pm #

    Susan–I know! Obviously, I should have waited for the crazzy season to start. Well, I’ve been wrong before right here in broad daylight and on the record. (Like when I thought that electing Democrats might actually make a different in how this country is run. My bad!)

    On the GOP primary front: It looks like the party bosses are going to make McInnis an offer he can’t refuse. (At least, not without earning a pair of cement overshoes!)

  13. Jeremy on 24 Jul 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    A friend of mine in North Carolina told me that a UNC Chapel Hill chapter of the far right group, the Youth for Western Civilization, keep bringing Tancredo to campus. YWC puts the zzz in crazzy. One can only hope the Constitution Party manages to draw enough Tea Party people to damage the GOP…

  14. Perpetua on 24 Jul 2010 at 2:23 pm #

    Holy sh*t Jeremy – the YOUTH FOR WESTERN CIVILIZATION?!? This sounds to be like “Hitler Youth” very thinly veiled. I’m astonished that a group like that could get university funding for its existence. And it makes me feel ickier about teaching Western Civ.

  15. Historiann on 24 Jul 2010 at 2:33 pm #

    Do they do their homework in Western Civ., and actually read their Hobbes, Locke, and Hume? Have they started a Renaissance or Englighenment club? Have they torn down the barricades of anything yet and started any Revolutions? Have they nailed 95 theses to anything yet?

    If so, I’d be all for it. I kind of doubt that that’s what they’re about.

  16. Indyanna on 24 Jul 2010 at 7:47 pm #

    Hmmm. When some Associate Chancellor for Strategic Initiatives gets wind of this it’s going to head straight to a new “affinity group” business model for keeping the curriculum stocked: “Friends of Social Psychology”; “Students for Intro to Semiotics.” Can the personal seat license be far behind? I like this not.

  17. Jeremy on 25 Jul 2010 at 8:42 am #

    Yeah, YWC is really demented – voila their site and enjoy the rants http://www.westernyouth.org/

    Their leader calls for “European-Americans” to worship Germanic gods as befits their racial background. Seriously, Tancredo might want to check out who is paying him…After all, he is the YWC honorary chairman!!!


  18. cgeye on 25 Jul 2010 at 6:18 pm #

    Historiann, please to be looking on the mail ballot, and let us Color-ans know what fresh hell the GOPs are sneaking onto the ballot? I mean, they *can’t* be this incompetent without having a secretly convoluted initiative to crown Doug Bruce king or something?

    And “personal seat license”? What the what????

    And YWC? Someone’s got to follow the money with these brownshirts….

  19. Historiann on 25 Jul 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    cgeye–I think it’s possible that they’re both evil and stupid, but that stupid is winning this year. This is an occupational hazard for Republicans: they want to coronate a candidate rather than let a primary take its course, so this is what happens sometimes. (Plus, Bob Dole and John McCain.)

    OTOH, letting a primary run its course doesn’t always guarantee the best candiate emerges in the long run, either.

  20. Indyanna on 27 Jul 2010 at 10:30 am #

    Hey, the N.Y. Times is finally on this story today, although buried pretty deep inside in a small boxed feature.

  21. Historiann on 27 Jul 2010 at 10:33 am #

    Tancredo is definitely running, on the ticket of a party that supports the repeal of the 1965 Voting Rights Act.


    But the only person dumber or crazzier than Tancredo is Colorado Republican Party Chair Dick Wadhams, caught lying on the radio yesterday morning by the radio program’s own right-wing host.


  22. Who ever would have predicted? : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present on 01 Aug 2010 at 10:53 am #

    [...] who is running to succeed Ritter, looks like he’ll coast easily to victory because of the total meltdown in the Republican governor’s race.  And as I’ve written here before, being governor of any state is going to be a whole lot [...]

  23. It’s Bennet v. Buck in Nov., plus no more McPlagiarist to kick around : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present on 11 Aug 2010 at 8:38 am #

    [...] of the plagiarism story here.)  The buzz here among the Republicans is how to push both Maes and Tommy “the Tank” Tancredo out of the race so that the Rs have a prayer of beating John Hickenlooper in November.  [...]

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