When I looked into the regs as a pregnant grad student some years ago, it was a real eye-opener about who could or could not be covered, and what kinds of leave were permissible (twice per week for 16 weeks: yes. Three discontinuous periods of 4 weeks each: yes. After 5pm every day: probably not.)

Everybody has the right to the exact same thing: 12 weeks unpaid FMLA leave. If that’s insufficient (which it is for all sorts off women for all sorts of reasons) I think the answer is to unite and make it better rather than dividing women into privileged and unprivileged depending on what their employers may (or may not) deign to give them.

I think gratitude is absolutely the wrong attitude to create change in what people are entitled to under the law. I think one thing to remember is that Anon is trying so hard to get paid leave because, like all the women you know, she can’t afford to take unpaid leave for the birth of her child. That pretty much sucks for everybody involved, doesn’t it?

On the other hand, the idea of parental leave -at all- is foreign and luxurious in the background I come from. As I developed my professional self and moved on from being the daughter of the waitress, one of the biggest adjustments was understanding the cushy benefits that professional jobs bring. Hourly employees don’t have health care or retirement plans, and certainly can’t afford them on their own. I’ve known more than one person back at work – hard physical labor – the very day after the birth of a child.

So the idea of being paid to stay home, handling other (admittedly important) issues like children or health, which are not the employer’s business? ….really strange to me.

Not that this makes the situation better. Benefits like parental leave are a part of the compensation package. All I’m saying is – don’t forget gratitude for what you do have.

This is truly awful. I am really sorry to hear about this. Its grotesquely unfair. We like to think that universities are happy places to work, but they are not. They pride themselves as little cities on a hill, but really, they can be just as bad as the corporate Moloch they serve.

Setting someone up to fail is a nasty thing to do. The way people deal with that is to convince themselves the person deserved it. The “failee” was uncollegial / unproductive / taught stale material / didn’t serve on committees /served on the wrong committees /served on too many committees / all of the above. Trust me, they’ll find endless reasons for why it’s all your fault.

And short of admitting they were wrong, they can never change their minds about what a second-rate scholar you are.

Get out while you can.

I have two kids and two different experiences from the same university. Six weeks paid leave, then “modified duties” for whatever remains of the term. The first time, academic personnel said that whatever I worked out with my boss for my return was fine. The second time, I had to list all of the duties, they had to amount to half my normal workload, and the whole thing had to be officially approved. The difference in procedure was a little stressful. I opted not to take FMLA or short term disability to extend my leave–keeping the salary etc. stable was more important (and I was only back at work for a month before summer break).

I made crystal clear that any time I showed up on campus after the six weeks were up, I’d have a baby with me.

I’m a lecturer, part time. My classes had to be covered for the entire term. The first time, I had a colleague who was also part time, so his load was increased; the second time, we hired someone for the classes who works in town. Yes, a sort of adjunct. Cost to the department varies – my first choice last spring was an emerita professor in my field. Had she been available, she would have been “reactivated” at her previous salary.

While you’re on FMLA leave, do no work — b/c requring you to work on FMLA leave is interfering with your FMLA leave and is illegal. IF you ARE still required to do work, make written complaints to HR that such requirements are interfering with your FMLA leave and are illegal and that you want the requirements removed. Keep copies of all such complaints and makes notes of when and to whom you submitted them.

While you are on leave, gather evidence to highlight the retaliation when it happens upon your return.

For example, your stellar reviews and student comments and all other evidence of you doing a good job for your employer.

For example, other people who have been allowed medical leaves, not been required to do service etc. work, and have not suffered any downgrade in their performance evals etc.

For example, other women whose maternity “leave” has been forced servitude and retaliation upon return.

And, the very first time you suffer any adverse consequences upon your return, file a written complaint with Human Resources that you are being retaliated against for taking FMLA leave. And name names and actions taken. Keep a copy of the complaints for yourself, with notes of when you filed them and with whom.

(Too bad that’s hard to do with pregnancy itself.)