Comments on: The academic life: movin’ on.

By: The academic life: movin’ on, part II : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:41:58 +0000

[...] I’ve written here before about how the academic life’s peripatetic nature means always leaving friends behind. Well, I’m now officially the friend who is being left behind! I guess that’s a lesson to remember: things change even when you stay in place. I love having so many readers and commenters here–but it’s not like I can have a cup of coffee with you whenever I want to and get your advice about my research, or ask for my help with yours, or walk your dogs for you, or stay up late with you over a bottle of wine. [...]

By: One man’s trash is another woman’s treasure : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 21:06:16 +0000

[...] last time I saw a copy of it was in an estate sale about a decade ago in my former hometown of Winesburg, Ohio, at the home of someone who must have been a retired professor, to judge from the size of his or [...]

By: Jo

Jo — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:40:32 +0000

Hmmm…I hadn’t really thought that my comment was either a) that inflammatory b) some kind of introduction of myself to you and your readers. Actually, I’ve been reading your blog for a while – a year, possibly 18 months. I’ve recommended it to friends. I can’t really remember if I have commented before or not. I wasn’t trying to “pee in your pool.” Since I was agreeing with what you said, I’m confused about the negative turn your comments toward me have taken.

I was making a comparison, related I thought to the thread, that I’ve have similar experiences in both friends made through my children and through work, that they are both helpful but often based on what we have in common. I don’t find either of these friendships as fulfilling and those made in college and before.

By: Historiann

Historiann — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:23:07 +0000

I made no generalizations. I said simply that "from what I’ve observed, it’s easier to make acquaintances, but usually all you have in common is the fact that you have children about the same age who like to play together once in a while." I made no suggestion that other people didn't have other experiences. Your comment picked up on a throwaway line in the thread and introduced snark, which is an odd way to try to join a community that you have never before been a part of. This was a post about old friendships with people I really miss, and it seemed to resonate with a lot of my readers. I won't let you pee in my pool, "Jo!" This is my blog. I don't have to be "nice."

By: Jo

Jo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:57:28 +0000

Also – it wasn’t very nice to categorize my comment as “trying to stir up trouble.” Really, it was too mild mannered for that, I would have thought.

By: Jo

Jo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 02:55:59 +0000

Yeah I was being sarcastic, but my intention was to be so in a good humored way. I value my friendships with other mothers for the same reason, Geoff. And I have great friendships with other academics. But I thought Historiann made a HUGE generalization about friendships among parents. It is kind of like getting through grad school – no one else really understands your trial by fire. But you do end up talking about what you have in common in both cases.

By: Historiann

Historiann — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:58:52 +0000

Ignatz–ignore Jo. Ze’s just trying to stir up trouble. I’m sorry if people have been disappointed in finding friendships among fellow academics–that’s not been my experience.

Ignatz, I’ve been meaning to write to you. I think your analysis of Potterville is correct–there seems to be a (to my mind troubling) division between women who are mothers and women who are professionals. The Venn diagram overlap is smaller here than in other cities and towns I’ve lived in–even including Winesburg, so it’s not just because of the size of the town (actually probably close to 3x Winesburg). I think it’s partially regional, too–Colorado is an extremely small state, and very isolated even from Chicago or Dallas/Houston, let alone the coastal concentrations of universities and people.

By: Geoff

Geoff — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:15:29 +0000

Ignatz here, not Geoff. Jo, are you being sarcastic? I never meant to put down moms I know in my post. I apologize if I seemed to. I do find, though, that my best mom friends handle a pull in their lives between home and profession, whether that profession is cleaning offices–one friend–being a doctor–another–or being an academic. That home/outside work tension is one of the things we talk about.

By: Jo

Jo — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:10:37 +0000

You are so right! Connections made through having children are just superficial and only exist because of that one thing you have in common. Nothing at all like friendships with other academics.

By: mralarm

mralarm — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:52:25 +0000

William Leach discusses the nomadic nature of academic life in Country of Exiles: The Destruction of Place in American Life. It’s not nearly a good a book as his others, but he does hit the nail on the head on that particular subject.

Great blog btw, a joy to read.