One of the things I like about the show is that they always find a good feature on everyone, no matter how non-modelesque the participants. They teach people how to work with what they’ve got, rather than screaming at people that they need to lose 100 pounds before they’ll even try to work with them.

Digger: that’s tough. I spent a long time just experimenting, and figuring things out by trial and error (it took me a remarkably long while to discover that I have a good figure, because I kept buying the kinds of clothes that looked good on my friends but weren’t remotely flattering to ME).

I’d say not to tackle it all at once, but focus on one or two things at a time, and don’t be shy about asking specific questions of people whose style you admire. For makeup and grooming, I recommend Paula Begoun’s books and website–go to the “learn” section. (She does sell her own line of products, but I’ve found her to be a trustworthy, no-nonsense explainer of skincare and makeup basics, who will tell you which routines and products are hooey.)

I think you are right — if we define “girlhood” as “unrelenting insecurity that one has failed to meet the standard precepts of femininity” than I am an award-winning girl. The spirit behind the post was that, as much as I don’t think many of these social niceties — and the gendered stereotypes that they rest upon and reinforce — are valuable, I nevertheless beat myself up about failing to satisfy them. I’m very interested to see that so many of your readers seem to have similar experiences — and particularly to see what your male readers have to say about the lessons learned or not learned at “boy school”

The only takeaway from “Girl School” I still feel the need to actively rebel against is when I am unnecessarily focused on being “nice.”

This includes hair/makeup/clothes/grooming stuff, but not the behaviors that I and a lot of the other posters here identify as feminine in a negative way (being deferrential, giggly, backstabby, etc.).

I’m sure some of this was for mating-related reasons, but I saw it at the time as self-creation — as becoming a certain kind of adult, urban woman, based on the smart, confident, fast-talking characters I admired in books and old movies. I was tired of being shy and awkward and feeling that I didn’t come across as the person I thought I was.

My Girl School Extension classes were successful, insofar as I did become the person I wished to be. But I’m still ambivalent about the ways that my “success” seems complicit with heterosexual norms of female attractiveness.

so much depends
upon

big breast
implants

gazed on with
envy

by all the other
chicks

Sad. But, my guess is she’s young, so maybe she’ll figure out by age 40 that tempus fugit and even her fake ones will head south of the border…