We’ve had a few more additions to Lessons for Girls in the past week, which I would like to highlight here. First, Tiffany at Disclosures of a Dirty Feminist reminds us in lesson #9 that ”You can say no.” She writes, “[w]e have been brought up to be caretakers, but that doesn’t mean we are solely responsible for making sure that the world runs smoothly and that everyone gets exactly what they want.” And guess what happens when she says no? “[N]othing. My friends . . . .find it completely normal. They weren’t even aware, most of the time, that I was feeling overworked, stressed, or like a lot was being demanded of me.” Yes–your real friends will understand. Users are the only ones who will be angry. (And remember Lesson Number One, girls: It’s okay to make other people angry.) Pretty wise for a nineteen year-old, Tiffany!
Minnesota Matron, in her lesson #10 ”Don’t peak early,” writes about one Deirdre G., “superstar of the 10th grade” whose life sadly was stalled immediately thereafter. She warns, “[r]ely on your physical appearance for life’s goodies—recognition, success, confidence, achievement — and you will find yourself washed up against that shore of age, without recourse. A well-fueled brain and sense of justice constitute a much stronger lifeboat: they can carry you for decades.”
I had a Deirdre G. in my life too, only her name was Stephanie. Continue Reading »