Comments on: Hells to the yeah! Uh, we mean “Nope:” Freddie from Ft. Lauderdale can’t hit the “Nope” button fast enough History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present Mon, 29 Sep 2014 21:14:56 +0000 hourly 1 By: Sex and salary negotiations: no way out : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:40:37 +0000 [...] had anger management issues, of course.  But, still:  many times I have wished that I had just hit the “NOPE” button that afternoon in February, [...]

By: Anon2 Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:12:20 +0000 -At the dinner, do not tell one of your colleagues to shove something up their a$$ in front of the candidate.

-Do not tell the candidate to bring their whole family as soon as possible to look for housing during the campus interview and then, oh, never contact them again about the position.

-Do not interview a candidate while sitting on the toilet in the hotel room you are using for the interviews.

Gosh, I can’t remember all the others. I used to have a collection from the years on the job market. Grim.

By: Historiann Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:37:30 +0000 Aaaaand–the non-fiction examples in this thread clearly top any fictitious representations any of us could come up with!

Hotshot Harry–I don’t think I agree with you entirely about the no-diner rule. I’d rather go someplace with local cred and good food than be taken to the Red Lobster or other chain restaurant on the highway, if that’s the only option in a small town (and sometimes it is!) That said–departments can always ask a candidate what ze prefers, but I recognize that there aren’t always several options to choose from in academic towns. (I seem to have made a career of living in towns without–shall we say?–their own Zagat guides.)

By: Smart Woman, Foolish Interview: Associate Prof. Alice interviews at Blunderland U. : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:30:25 +0000 [...] barely.  Regrets?  She’s got a few: I just had to write you in solidarity with Freddie from Ft. Lauderdale.  I don’t care what you call me–just don’t call me unprepared for a job [...]

By: Hotshot Harry Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:03:02 +0000 From my recent experience:

-Don’t take the candidate to a diner for dinner. It doesn’t matter that it is “a really nice diner” and that “people talk about it all of the time.” It is still a diner. Also, please note: ordering a glass of Chardonnay at a diner isn’t classy. It’s just sad.
-Don’t throw all of the people the candidate will meet the next day under the bus within the first five minutes of the dinner.
-Don’t say, repeatedly, that the administration took several leadership responsibilities away from you because you were “too successful” and they were too intellectually limited to appreciate your genius.
-Don’t tell the candidate that s/he has 75 minutes to teach a class, then stop him/her at 55 minutes and instruct the candidate to “wrap it up.”

This one is for the Catholic institutions out there:
-Don’t tell the candidate that you have fine on-campus accommodations only to stick the person in an empty room in the priests’ residence. (This one tends not to go over too well with candidates’ partners/spouses.)

By: Mamie Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:19:40 +0000 If you are the dean, do not ask the candidate (a historian) why she did not take more math as an undergraduate.

Do not include a visit to Walmart on the town tour.

When the candidate’s talk is over, do not send her out into the hall so the assembled department can immediately vote on whether to hire her. (The chair attempted this, but others persuaded him that this was hardly appropriate–while I stood out in the hallway, astonished, and wondering if this could possibly be a good sign.)

By: Deborah Judge Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:58:25 +0000 I’ve got just one – try to figure out the job requirements *before* the interview, or at least figure out how to talk to each other politely, because getting into a fight about the job requirements in front of the interviewee isn’t going to make her feel like it’s going to be a good position.

By: Jeremy Young Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:57:13 +0000 While attending a late-afternoon session of the AHA as a graduate student, a professor I know once received a phone call from a search committee chair inviting him to do an AHA interview right then for a position he hadn’t applied for, in a year he was not on the job market. Since the position was at an Ivy League institution, he decided to play along, only to be informed by the chair that the entire committee was blind drunk. During the course of the interview, one committee member excused himself, went into the adjacent lavatory, and audibly threw up, then returned and sat down as if nothing had happened.

By: Profane Tue, 24 Mar 2009 23:12:36 +0000 Awful susurro, but to extend the baseball analogy, that was no curveball, but a fastball – aimed directly at your head. Had that been the response to their discovering that I was openly single, male, hetero, libertarian, and Christian (which has, surprisingly, been a liability at more than one interview), then I would have been inclined to tell them to FO – perhaps not as politely as you did!

By: the rebel lettriste Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:46:29 +0000 Ooh! I want to play!

When you schedule the interview for early on a Friday morning, try to get there on time, even if it is raining.

Don’t make the candidate wait for AN HOUR AND A HALF for the committee to arrive, while you make awkward smalltalk about how you “have so many questions to ask, but we should wait for the REAL interview!” Of course, don’t apologize when you all finally do show up.

Don’t then make the candidate deliver her jobtalk while sitting on a broken chair.

When, later, the chair escorts the candidate to the bathroom, it’s generally not a good idea to CONTINUE CONDUCTING THE INTERVIEW WHILE BOTH SHE AND THE CANDIDATE ARE IN SEPARATE STALLS AND PEEING.

Don’t repeatedly ask the candidate if she knows somebody you went to Harvard with? And did you mention again, that you went to Harvard? Did someone say Harvard?

Then, when you offer to drive the candidate home, a distance of some 3 miles, DO drive her all the way home. Don’t sop instead on an offramp to the BQE, loudly pop the locks and merrily shout, “well! Nice to meet you!”

Good times!