21st 2009
Weekend Funnies

Posted under: American history, fluff, technoskepticism

totusThis is hillarious:  Barack Obama’s Teleprompter has a blog, and you’d better believe that TOTUS has a lot to say (via Corrente.)  For example, TOTUS answers readers’ questions:

Teleprompter, have you ever thought about helping Secretary Geithner, or do you work for just one person?

No, I am a one-man machine. And while I’m beginning to have some self-doubt about the way the Big O and I are working, do you really think I could make a lick of difference with Timmah? What Tim Terrific (the Big Guy’s nickname for him) needs is a time machine with “way back” capabilities, which would allow the rest of us to direct him on career paths that we now realize he has the talents for, like, teaching macramé at a small Midwestern women’s college or perhaps working as a salesman at a lemonade stand managed by a seven-year-old.

In other words, no piece of equipment in existence today could help this man.

And, TOTUS says that ” Vice President Biden is the smartest person in the Administration. Seriously.”

What of the unfortunate off-the-cuff remark about the Special Olympics on The Tonight Show the other night?  TOTUS says:

Okay, I see the bus coming right at me, so let’s be clear: this was His ad lib.

I tried to stay to watch the “Tonight Show” taping, but I was given the bum’s rush like everyone else. That said, I did get to watch some rehearsal time, and man, Leno really rehearses. I mean, he doesn’t leave anything to chance. He’s all about timing. In other words, Jay doesn’t leave much to chance.

And it isn’t just this particular show where Leno is a control freak. I’ve got a cousin out here in LA; he’s an Autoscript GP-15P GoPrompt, with a High-Bright Color LCD screen. . . . Auto tells me that Leno’s prompters tell him that Leno and his team do this kind of rehearsal and briefing for every show. So it wasn’t like My Man didn’t have a chance to think about a better line … and PUT IT ON MY SCREEN!!

It’s days like this that make me miss the days when He and I would walk the streets of Chicago, doing community activism. Sure, it took Him 30 minutes to set me up, and sometimes he couldn’t get the extension cord to reach an electrical outlet, or the folks he wanted to talk to would walk off because they had better things to do, or the glare off my screen made his remarks unreadable. But it was a simpler time, when he could stay on script and didn’t feel the need to “speak his mind,” and we were a team. All I know, is it’s going to be a long flight home.

Let’s hope Crown offers TOTUS a contract for its memoirs of the Obama administration.  I’d pay $29.95 for that!


6 Responses to “Weekend Funnies”

  1. Indyanna on 21 Mar 2009 at 9:41 am #

    I was kind of shocked a couple of weeks ago to learn via the NYT that the prez. even *uses* a teleprompter. Coulda’ (and I guess you’d say, DID) fooled me. This may help to explain some of the dynamics of the long March-into-May death march his campaign went on a year ago about now. And interesting to see that the ’08 Altoona bowling meltdown scarred his consciousness and has him practicing down on the White House lane(s). I think he’d be better off out back helping M. dig up the community garden patch. Another interesting thing in today’s _Times_ (I’m clinging to old media while we still have any to cling to) is that she told him to “….solve world hunger and stay out of my closet” with regard to his wardrobe commentary. Pretty funny. On the Geithner thing, “Tim Terrific” sure does kind of resonate a bit with “doing a great job, Brownie,” which is not where we want to be at this point.

  2. Profane on 21 Mar 2009 at 10:16 am #

    Head. . .about. . .to. . .explode. . .


    Much better. Now to patch that hole in the wall where I have been banging my head.

  3. Historiann on 21 Mar 2009 at 10:47 am #

    Hey–the Permanent Campaign (TM) was in innovation of Clinton the First. I can’t blame the guy for wanting to stay in touch with voters–I appreciate it, compared to Bush the First’s and Bush the Second’s isolation. But, yeah–color me unimpressed wtih Geithner.

    But then–I told you so last month: “Best and brightest, my a$$!”

  4. GayProf on 23 Mar 2009 at 8:55 am #

    Geithner, who is creepy and crooked, really should be dismissed. Of course, I also had the crazy notion that he might not have been qualified for that job in the first place.

  5. Historiann on 23 Mar 2009 at 9:07 am #

    GayProf–me too, but who listens to us, anyway? Oh well, I suppose it’s Geithner’s job to save Wall Street with our money, and it’s our job to just sing and clap louder! (Oh, and empty our pockets, too.)

    I thought the guy was shady–what’s with someone of his income and stature using TurboTax in this decade?

  6. Pay no attention to the $hitpile behind that curtain! : Historiann : History and sexual politics, 1492 to the present on 04 Apr 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    [...] miss Black’s parting shot at Tim Terriffic in the last 15 seconds of the third video: “And by the way, the folks who are the better [...]

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